A Subject That May Take a While (Part 1).

I don't understand Christianity. I'm sure my ignorance is bred from an inability to really give a shit about it in the first place, but it stems from other factors as well. More and more recently I've begun to think about religion in general and about Christianity specifically. My questions have stemmed from the surface level and absurd to the more ideologically probing questions that I really have no way to get a straight answer for. "You could just go to a church and ask away", you say? No. Churches have belief systems based around specific interpretations of the bible and thus, are influenced one way or the other. I'm unaware if there is any church that may be able to put aside its specific agenda, but I doubt there is. With something as personal and influential in one's life as religion, I can only imagine that the subconscience would creep into the conversation and POOF! belief system!
I guess my biggest question about Christianity is the blindness that most people seem to have towards it. Yes, they believe. That's all fine and good. Give yourself a pat on the back; you believe in something bigger than yourself. What I don't understand is what comes with that--an inability to have an open dialogue about WHY they believe and what prompted it. It's somewhat understandable. Religion is very personal, as I've already said, but the unwillingness of most people to ever question there faith or put it under a microscope seems ludicrous. With something as valued as faith it would seem that the best way to test your faith, and thus come to a better understanding of it, is to constantly put it through litmus tests. In very few things in this world can you actually find the value in something through the testing of it rather than just hearing the speech about how great it is. Granted, the story of the bible is pretty convincing (and the "wrathful God" bit is just bad ass), but why take it all in as unrelenting truth? For example, when you buy a lawn mower, you don't get to mow your lawn several times before purchasing it. All you get is the description of it, telling you how much horsepower it has and what the conditions of purchase are and the salesman who just keeps pushing what a great lawn mower it is. It's just the same as reading the bible and then having a preacher preach a sermon. With faith though, unlike the lawn mower, you DO get to take it home and use it. Try it out, see if it works like you want it to. Does it make your life what you thought it might? Does baptism suit you? No? Try episcopal, free of charge.
Not many people seem to take this route though. For most, it would seem that they take a road and adhere to it, not leaving the designated view that their church has taken. I don't know. It just seems that if there is something that important in your life, you would want to make sure that your faith in it is founded, solidly and without need for more question. There is a joy and an easiness that comes with the knowledge that something in your life fits you perfectly. With something as personal (and for most, filled with conviction) as religion, it seems natural to want to test yourself and your faith.
Once again, I have to sight my relative ignorance of religion in general while writing this. I grew up in a methodist family and went to church unwillingly, and sometimes violently opposed to it. I sat in Sunday School and I sat through sermons for nearly sixteen years before I got a job and made sure I always worked Sunday mornings until I left my parents' house. Unlike most people, I found nothing there of interest. For me, church was a place for the old and boring. It never suited me and what I wanted to do with my life, which is principally, to have fun. Of course, it was a good place to become a master of Hangman with my brother, but the church experience itself left a lot to be desired.