Now, the following is not a joke. I know it probably won't come across as being very polite, but whatever. I've done worse and spoken ten times worse. I also feel that I should preemptively state that I'm not religious and thus don't believe any of this. I was just curious.
So, you know how all those planes crashed that day? You know, the two in New York, the one in Washington and the one in Pennsylvania. My friend watched the film "United 93" about the passengers on that particular flight that took the plane back and crashed it in Pennsylvania (in case you didn't already know all this). Well, I can only imagine (and I'm taking the point of view of a religious right Christian here) that when they all gathered at the Gates of Heaven (which they would, because all martyred Americans go to heaven, no matter what) everyone from the other three flights just stared down everyone from Flight 93? 'Cause, you know, they made everyone else look bad. They re-took the plane! Everyone else was laid back and chillin' when their planes were taken by the terrorists/muslism/heathens/buttholes. Okay, maybe not that, but they sure as shit didn't take the plane back all "Air Force One" like. And you know there was no one as bad ass as Gary Oldman doing that shit. It was probably some scared as shit, skinny as hell (because they don't have food. Get it?!?) dudes who were starting to seriously questions how there friends had ever talked them into this Allah thing.
I'm aware that this is a trivial thought, but I didn't see ANYONE from the major networks ask about this in the aftermath; which I think is just sloppy.
Monday, February 05, 2007
Sunday, February 04, 2007
Essential Thrillers: A Brief List.
I like lists. I imagine you like lists, too. What a great way to spend a day off! You got cleaning to do? Make a list of chores! You want to lead a life of sexual debauchery/greatness? Make a list, son! There's more perversities out there than you can shake a boner at (put "ball-fucking" right at the top"). With this in mind, I have made a list of about 20 essential thrillers. Please bear in mind that this list is NOT final and was constructed hastily after my girlfriend placed her faith in me to show her good movies (of which I know a lot and she knows little). This is only the first list, there is also a "Fantasy" list and a "Treasures of Current Asian Cinema" list that will eventually pop-up. I'm hoping to get some help adding both current and older films to this list, so please, give me what ya got!
1. North By Northwest
2. Leon
3. Alien
4. The Manchurian Candidate
5. The Big Sleep
6. The Jackal
7. Notorious
8. High Noon
9. 3 Days of the Condor
10. The French Connection
11. Heavenly Creatures
12. Shadow of a Doubt
13. Patriot Games
14. Rope
15. The Silence of the Lambs
16. Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Once again, if you have a suggestion, bring it. I'm open to anything.
1. North By Northwest
2. Leon
3. Alien
4. The Manchurian Candidate
5. The Big Sleep
6. The Jackal
7. Notorious
8. High Noon
9. 3 Days of the Condor
10. The French Connection
11. Heavenly Creatures
12. Shadow of a Doubt
13. Patriot Games
14. Rope
15. The Silence of the Lambs
16. Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Once again, if you have a suggestion, bring it. I'm open to anything.
Saturday, February 03, 2007
Current Television Woo-hoo's and Woes.
Recently I've been busy running around between working lunch and double shifts and trying to record an album ("trying" is the key to unlocking just how well it's going). That hasn't left much time for those meanial things like spending time with my live-in girlfriend, my crew of friends I'm hereby dubbing the "Boom Town Shakers" or anything or anyone else that I really know and enjoy. In place of all those wonderful things I enjoy, I've pumped in as much television as possible. This isn't out of desire, but out of a need to absorb something other than work, music or sleep and television is the easiest way to fill this gap. It is with this fact in hand that I present to you...MY TELEVISION "WOO-HOO'S AND WOES"...!!!
Those shows that have aided me in my mission for temporary fulfillment are as follows:
LAW AND ORDER: SVU Oh yeah. After working for thirteen hours in a small kitchen with two other dudes where homoeroticism rules and comments such as "Your package looks really good" are flung around with a straight face, it's nice to turn on the television and see a world full of sexual violence and moral depravity the likes of which I'll never reach. It's kind of like a "well, at least I'm not THAT bad" kind of thing. Not only does it let me know what ground I stand on, but it also serves as a nice palate cleanser. I know that sounds kind of backwards, but I listen to and watch a lot of of fluffy shit in my day. So it's nice to have something to wash the goodness out of my mouth. Plus, you know, Mariska Hartigay lives in a little world called I like to call "smokin'".
ICONOCLASTS Mikhail Baryshnikov and Alice Waters, Laird Hamilton and Eddie Vedder, Isabella Rossellini and Dean Kamen, Dave Chappelle and Maya Angelou. I just discovered this show during its second season on Sundance Channel and I haven't been this excited about a show in a while. Two people who are long time friends or just acquaintances, but who are each well respected in their particular fields discussing their lives and the way they look at what they do. I know that's not a very fascinating sentence, but the show is good. You especially have to watch the Dave Chappelle/Maya Angelou episode. That woman is amazing and just about everything she says rings true. This is the kind of show I reserve for when I actually feel like bettering myself (around 7% of the time).
STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP Aaron Sorkin is a television genius. His newest show isn't as strong as the previous two: Sports Night and West Wing, but it's still better written and acted than just about anything else that's out right now. It definitely comes off as more preachy than the previous two, which is odd since the venue of the West Wing seems like it would be a much better platform, but so it goes. It lacks the raw appetite to prove itself as Sports Night did and it lacks the polish of the West Wing, but Studio 60 is good, despite the growing pretentions of its creator.
VERONICA MARS Everyone in the world has already stated the obvious. Veronica Mars is my geek-filled heart's replacement to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It has probably managed to stay on the air due, in part, to this idea (an idea that even Joss Whedon has written about). This isn't just it though. Kristen Bell is an amazing actress and she sells every line she's given. For my bottom dollar, she's probably one of the few actors on television for whom you can probably slack on your writing a little bit and use her acting as a crutch.
Those are the big ones. The rest are less frequent, though still really good: South Park, Extras, Entourage, Scrubs (until the last five minutes when the shitty kinda-but-not-really indie rock song comes on and the drama's laid on so thick you could swear you wrote it when you were seventeen), Daily Show, Colbert Report, Survivor Man, etc. An Honorable Mention shout out goes to The Sarah Silverman Show since the first episode was pretty funny, but who knows.
This category is a bit tougher. How can you judge a show that you don't like when you watch it anyway? Let's find out!
SCRUBS I know, it's on the previous list, but seriously, the last five minutes are that bad. Not to mention that there's only so long Zach Braff can be the lovable fuck up before the lovable part washes away and all you have is a truly annoying character. It doesn't help that the writers seem to be giggling to themselves as they write the same 7 or 8 scripts over and over.
GILMORE GIRLS This is my girlfriends fault. I thought the first two seasons were great, but after that it plummeted. Chalk it up to being too clever for itself. You cant't be that witty for that long without losing some of the splender. I tried watching this season as well. The new head writer doesn't have nearly the pedigree that Amy Palladino had. Now, in its seventh season the show is spinning wheels is doesn't even have anymore. I know that doesn't make sense, but I think you might know what I mean.
CARNIVALE Yeah, I like David Lynch too.
Everything else that compromise the "woes" section is everything else on television. Honorable Mention in this category goes to Mind of Mencia. My co-workers quote this back to me all day. I can't escape this shit even when I don't watch it.
Those shows that have aided me in my mission for temporary fulfillment are as follows:
LAW AND ORDER: SVU Oh yeah. After working for thirteen hours in a small kitchen with two other dudes where homoeroticism rules and comments such as "Your package looks really good" are flung around with a straight face, it's nice to turn on the television and see a world full of sexual violence and moral depravity the likes of which I'll never reach. It's kind of like a "well, at least I'm not THAT bad" kind of thing. Not only does it let me know what ground I stand on, but it also serves as a nice palate cleanser. I know that sounds kind of backwards, but I listen to and watch a lot of of fluffy shit in my day. So it's nice to have something to wash the goodness out of my mouth. Plus, you know, Mariska Hartigay lives in a little world called I like to call "smokin'".
ICONOCLASTS Mikhail Baryshnikov and Alice Waters, Laird Hamilton and Eddie Vedder, Isabella Rossellini and Dean Kamen, Dave Chappelle and Maya Angelou. I just discovered this show during its second season on Sundance Channel and I haven't been this excited about a show in a while. Two people who are long time friends or just acquaintances, but who are each well respected in their particular fields discussing their lives and the way they look at what they do. I know that's not a very fascinating sentence, but the show is good. You especially have to watch the Dave Chappelle/Maya Angelou episode. That woman is amazing and just about everything she says rings true. This is the kind of show I reserve for when I actually feel like bettering myself (around 7% of the time).
STUDIO 60 ON THE SUNSET STRIP Aaron Sorkin is a television genius. His newest show isn't as strong as the previous two: Sports Night and West Wing, but it's still better written and acted than just about anything else that's out right now. It definitely comes off as more preachy than the previous two, which is odd since the venue of the West Wing seems like it would be a much better platform, but so it goes. It lacks the raw appetite to prove itself as Sports Night did and it lacks the polish of the West Wing, but Studio 60 is good, despite the growing pretentions of its creator.
VERONICA MARS Everyone in the world has already stated the obvious. Veronica Mars is my geek-filled heart's replacement to Buffy the Vampire Slayer. It has probably managed to stay on the air due, in part, to this idea (an idea that even Joss Whedon has written about). This isn't just it though. Kristen Bell is an amazing actress and she sells every line she's given. For my bottom dollar, she's probably one of the few actors on television for whom you can probably slack on your writing a little bit and use her acting as a crutch.
Those are the big ones. The rest are less frequent, though still really good: South Park, Extras, Entourage, Scrubs (until the last five minutes when the shitty kinda-but-not-really indie rock song comes on and the drama's laid on so thick you could swear you wrote it when you were seventeen), Daily Show, Colbert Report, Survivor Man, etc. An Honorable Mention shout out goes to The Sarah Silverman Show since the first episode was pretty funny, but who knows.
This category is a bit tougher. How can you judge a show that you don't like when you watch it anyway? Let's find out!
SCRUBS I know, it's on the previous list, but seriously, the last five minutes are that bad. Not to mention that there's only so long Zach Braff can be the lovable fuck up before the lovable part washes away and all you have is a truly annoying character. It doesn't help that the writers seem to be giggling to themselves as they write the same 7 or 8 scripts over and over.
GILMORE GIRLS This is my girlfriends fault. I thought the first two seasons were great, but after that it plummeted. Chalk it up to being too clever for itself. You cant't be that witty for that long without losing some of the splender. I tried watching this season as well. The new head writer doesn't have nearly the pedigree that Amy Palladino had. Now, in its seventh season the show is spinning wheels is doesn't even have anymore. I know that doesn't make sense, but I think you might know what I mean.
CARNIVALE Yeah, I like David Lynch too.
Everything else that compromise the "woes" section is everything else on television. Honorable Mention in this category goes to Mind of Mencia. My co-workers quote this back to me all day. I can't escape this shit even when I don't watch it.
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